Anti-Social

My kids have called me anti-social for years. My parents tell me all the time I'm not friendly and finally - last Sunday, my dear husband said I was anti-social. I really don't see that, but if they keep it up - well you know what they say - you hear it long enough you start believing it.

Just because I don't go out does not make me anti-social. Just because I don't chat up the neighbors doesn't make me anti-social.

Let's look at those two points. It's true that I don't like to socialize. By the time we get around to going out - it's late and I've worked all day. Whether I worked at a job or just around the house. I'm so exhausted that I often ache. Then there is the getting ready - if I've been cleaning, or have gone to the gym, I have to get cleaned up and made up - which makes me even more tired. When we do get to our destination - usually the local Eagles - it's noisy. With my thyroid pressing on my vocal chords, my voice is barely audible so conversation is nearly impossible.

It's very hard to have fun, when I don't feel well and let's face it - I'm fat. My husband's ex-g/f has made it very uncomfortable for me - she and her friends moo at me when I'm out. I don't feel pretty any more.

Then there is conversation. When it is quiet enough to chat - I have no idea what these people are talking about. I don't bowl; I don't play bingo; My kids have left home and we rarely speak. My parents spend half a year in Florida - we rarely speak. I work a job that most people see as intimidating so it's hard to have a conversation. You can only talk about the weather for so long.

As for the neighbors...I'll be friendly, but I don't want them over all the time - which has happened in the past. I know my husband wants me to be friendly with the new woman who moved in across the street, but - it worries me. She's a widow. I don't want to be friendly so she thinks it's ok to ask my husband to do things for her. Maybe that's a bit paranoid, but when you're the third wife, you're paranoid.