Fast food anomalies

Have you ever noticed that you're driving along, and it doesn't matter the time of day, but as soon as you decide to go through a drive-thru, three cars will pull in ahead of you. It can be the middle of the night, ok after 9pm for me and even before I turn on my blinker, others will immediately turn into the parking lot. It's like they have radar -"Hey she's hungry and it's late; let's mess with her and pull in front of her." The parking lot can be empty, but because I wanted a burger, so did a bunch of other people.

And what's up with those automoated greeters? As you pull up, a pre-recorded voice starts pushing the special. I never know when to order - do I start talking - thus activating a real person to respond? Do I just sit there through a minute long discertation of the "new and improved" burger? When do I get to talk?

After waiting, some bored kid comes over the speaker, what do ya want? Ummm, I'd like to speak to a real person? I'd like not to have to listen to your restaurant pushing crap I'm never going to eat. But instead I meekly give my order - by number of course. I'll have a number 1 (they can't mess up the number 1). What do you want to drink? Diet Coke. Of course the speaker cuts off the first word and I see Coke show up on the screen. It takes another 3 minutes of back and forth to figure out that I want a DIET Coke; By this time, the guy behind me is gesturing crudely so I gesture back.

Finally, I am told my total, which I spend the next 3 minutes trying to figure out how they came to that number, but I'm too beaten to argue any more and besides the guy behind me is now bumper pushing me forward. I pull ahead, which is really around the corner where you can't see how many people are in front of you.

Unfortunately, I seem to get behind a minivan full of kids and a screeching mother more often than not. The kids are jumping up and down, flipping over the seat, while the mother is trying to find 38 cents in change in the bottom of her purse. Meanwhile, Little Johnny has discovered there is a car behind them and proceeds to make faces at me.

The mom hands the money through the window and obviously has to add to her order because I see the cashier talking to her and more money going through the window. Once she gets the food, instead of pulling forward, she hands out all the meals to her kids, knocks on the window and asks for more ketchup. I know because she's screaming to be heard over the kids. She knocks on the window again - napkins. Oh and can she buy and another soda - Little Johnny has spilled his. More money goes through the window. The mom hands the cashier soda soaked napkins, more dry napkins are handed out, along with a new soda. Finally, I see the brake lights go off and she rolls forward.

It's my turn. I have my money ready. My bill was $11.69. I had the cashier $12.09. He gives me a puzzled look. "This is too much," he says trying to hand back the 9 cents. "No, I don't want pennies," I explain, just give me 40 cents. He calls his manager over and the two of them discuss this money dilemma. I guess I should have just handed him $12 and been done with it. The window opens and the manager says "you gave him too much money." "I gave him $12.09 so that I get 40 cents back." The manager goes back to the cash register, the two of them converse some more. Finally, she opens the window and gives me $1.31 in change and my food. I'm not about to argue any more. Besides I've now been in line for 22 minutes, so much for fast food. Maybe I should have handed back the extra change, but then I'd be short and I'm sure we would've argued over this too. I just wanted a burger. I pull ahead reach into my bag and instead of a hot juicy burger, I find a warm chicken sandwich. I sigh and head home. I could call, I have in the past but got nothing except an automated response. So I'll warm up the chicken. That's what I get for trying to get a quick hot meal that I didn't have to cook.