The day I met my husband

Nothing in my life is simple or direct. Everything has it's crazy twists and turns and meeting my husband was no different.

It was a cold evening in February 2003 when my phone rang. It was my boyfriend of 6 months. He traveled a lot for work and I hadn't seen him in a few weeks.

"Hey, I just got back into town. I'm at Good Times. Why don't ya come over."

Good Times? I knew where most of the bars were in my little town, but this one - I wasn't even sure I'd heard that name before.

He explained where it was and I told him I'd be over shortly. I had my trepidations. The bar was on the east side of town, over by the railroad tracks in the factory district. Once I knew the general location, I knew exactly what bar it was -it was the one my mother told me to stay away from.

Good Times Bar and Grill was located in a parking lot of what used to be a stockyard. It had a reputation of being a rough spot. It was one of two bars left on the eastside of town - biker/factory/bad boy bars. Stories were whispered about things that had happened there in it's 40 plus year history - things like drugs, guns, gangs...bad things.

My heart was pounding and my mouth was dry, not only was I heading to a bar with a bad reputation, but it was already growing dark outside. But I wanted to see my boyfrend so I got in my car and headed across town. As I drew near, my heart was beating a tango in my chest. I just knew this was a bad idea.

The parking lot lights were already on when I pulled in. I saw my boyfriend's van parked on the far side of the lot under a light and pulled up next to it. For a couple of minutes I sat in my car, I thought maybe he was watching for me and would come out to meet me. At 39, I had never walked into a bar alone. I'd only been in a couple and that was during lunchtime, in the daylight. In the past, I'd gone to clubs with friends, but here I was, about to walk into this seedy little bar all by myself.

It was cold so I didn't linger outside. The door stuck as I tried to open it and had to push hard, nearly tripping when it gave way. I stepped through the doorway; it was like time froze. The smell of stale beer and hard-working men hit me. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me - the room grew quiet. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the smokey gloom. I swallowed hard and nervously scanned the room.

"Hey Tami, over here." My boyfriend waved from across the room. It was so dark that I could barely make him out, let alone those who were sitting with him. I quickly approached the safety of the group and realized that I was the only woman at the table.

My boyfriend introduced me to his friends - a motley crew. They were dressed in work clothes - jeans and flannel shirts for the most part. There was Bater who sort of snorted at the introduction, Wilson who, thank goodness reminded me of a friendly Labador, and welcomed me and Kenny. This hulk of a man was called Kenny, not Ken, not Kenneth, but Kenny. He was one of the biggest men I had ever met. His arms built like small trees were completely bare as he was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt. His eyes assessed me and quickly dismissed me as an mere annoyance. I think he may have grunted hello. But he made it clear, that where he was sitting was his space and he was not to be crowded.

All in all, I spent the next hour in terror. I didn't say much, even when spoken too. It was apparent to me that I had invaded their man-gathering and my intrusion wasn't welcomed no matter whose girlfriend I was.

A week later, I was back. My boyfriend called me and said to meet him there again so I did. He was late so it was just me and the boys. I sat on the edge of my seat, hands folded in my lap. Kenny stared at me with those piercing dark eyes and ordered me a beer. He didn't say much, but I could tell that I irritated him, but I didn't know why.

The others tried to make small talk with me, but I was to scared to say much back. I finally relaxed when my boyfriend showed up. I shouldn't have, because that's when the teasing began. By the time I left, I don't know if I was mad or annoyed or just plain hurt. My boyfriend explained that was their way of letting me know they liked me. Liked me? I was near tears. But I decided that if they could pick on me, I'd do my best to tease them back and I did and still do. It was the beginning of a love affair that I didn't realize.

Nearly, 6 years after that fateful day, when I gathered up the courage to walk into that scary bar, I was there celebrating my marriage, to Kenny. And yes I still irritate him, but now I invade his space.