The misadventures of me - introduction

Every good story has an introduction. I'm not sure how much to put here, because well, you're going to get to know me, my family, my friends, my pets, my adventures in great detail - as long as I keep writing. And I'll keep writing as long as I know I have an audience to entertain. So please leave me comments or subscribe so I know you're reading.

I'm 46, quickly nearing 47 which is old. Remember when you were little and your parents were *gasp* 30. They were old, so I must be ancient. My only consolation is that my second husband is older, much much older than I - he's almost 60!

In addition to 2 husbands - neither of them are dead by the way although...but that's an upcoming story. I have 3 children of my own, 2 or 6 step-children some who are nearly as old as I am, the questionable number comes from the fact that I'm not sure if I should count his step-children who we see more often than some of his biological children. And then there are his grandchildren either 3 or 5 - but who's counting.

I also have several sets of parents. There is the couple who produced me, the couple who raised me and a few that I just adopted along the way.

As for extended family - wow - plenty and they're the kind of people that you're ok with and you understand, but you dread introducing to your new much older husband. Odd? yes - my grandmother used to chase my uncle around with a can of aerosal deodorant; Strange - uh huh - my cousins used to skin their skin-less hotdogs. Large - well I thought my family was big until I married Kenny who has 9 - yes - 9 sisters and 1 brother still living. Everyone in this town is related to one of us.

Yes, I live in a small rural community in Michigan, population of the 36 square mile county just a tad under 100,000 people. Average IQ - let's just say we're not Ivy League material for the most part. Most people here are unemployed - there were a lot of car -related factories and then...there were none. The rest of the people farm. The economy is so bad here the drug dealers have all packed up and moved away because none of our stuff is even worth stealing any more.

I live in a trailer park, even though the sign says modular home community, but that's a whole story all on its own or maybe two or three.

Throughout my life I've had a few jobs - pig raiser, fast food restaurant worker, I sold Avon and Pampered Chef; I was a free-lance reporter for a newspaper (loved the job) worked in all areas of radio from DJ to news director (loved that job too) taught college (love that job) oh yeah and then there was that gig with a circus and a few other odd jobs here and there.

What will you read in these upcoming vinettes? Hopefully a chuckle or two. Once in awhile maybe a tear - hey my life hasn't always be silly. I promised my loved ones I won't use their last names because let's face it - these are suppose to be stories about ME! Me, me me! If you're reading one of my little gems and you recognize yourself, well, the next time you decide to do something stupid in front of me, maybe you'll think again My humor tends to be a bit sarcastic, tongue in cheek and ironic. Please don't leave me comments saying you feel sorry for me or that I need help. We all need help. And when I'm poking fun at myself - well, obviously I feel pretty confident about who I am - I am posting it for the whole world to read. I know who I am -I'm a middle-aged, over-weight, twice married, slightly frustrated wanna-be famous for something woman who lives with her old man, weird cats and a cowardly dog.