First attempt at being a housewife or the day I nearly killed my husband

From the time I was little, I knew I'd be anything but a housewife. For a year in junior high I was going to be a neuro-surgeon and learned all of the bones in the body, but I really didn't like dissecting things. Then I was going to be a camera operator - but I'd rather be in front than behind the camera; my favorite career choice - NFL Football coach! I thought it would be great to order around a bunch of really big guys and no woman had ever done that before. Along the way, I wanted to be a writer, a reporter, an actress, but never a housewife.

But then I got married and had a daughter. Things changed. We lived in a small townhouse and well, there were chores to do. Housework! I could clean, since I had gotten pregnant the first time, it was better if I didn't inhale too many chemicals so my job was going to be fixing meals.

Breakfast was a piece of cake - we didn't eat it, and my daughter was eating baby food. Lunch was usually sandwiches and Dinner was whatever we brought home from work. At the time, my husband and I were both working at a restaurant.

But then came the day that we both had a couple of days off together. Oh crap! I was going to have to cook something. I wracked my brain. My grandmother was a great cook, and I had her recipe box. My mother never used a recipe so cooking from scratch couldn't be that hard.

The first question was what to cook. I wanted to make something we couldn't get at work so burgers and chicken was out. And it should be nutrious - protein, vegetables. It was shortly after Christmas and it was cold outside so whatever I made it should be hot and hearty.

I remember my mom making pasties. For those of you who never went to Northern Michigan, a pasties is a meat and vegetable stew in a pastry crust. It was the perfect solution.

I stopped by the store and picked up some stew meat, a few potatoes, onions and carrots. I skipped the rutabagas because they're gross. I put the stew meat in a crockpot and turned it on. Next I chopped the vegetables, made the crust and was read to put them together.

Basically, I put some beef and vegetables on one half of the crust and folded it over, sealed it and tossed it in the oven. After about 15 minutes, I checked, the crust wasn't even brown yet. I waited another 15 minutes and the crust was golden so I figured another 15 minutes and they should be done. I'd present my husband with a nutrious, hot, home-made meal. I was beaming when I served him his pasty.

We began eating and I noticed he was drinking lots of milk. I noticed, the pasties didn't quite smell like my mom's, but then I used different vegetables. I kept eating. The taste...there was something a bit odd. Maybe it was the onions or maybe I used the wrong seasoning. I noticed my husband had stopped eating and was watching TV. It wasn't so unusual for him. I asked him if he wanted more and he assured me he was ok.

Even though the taste was slightly off, I ate a few more bites and discreetly dumped mine in the trash. So much for that idea. I had made a cake for dessert and told my husband that he could have a piece when he finished his dinner.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I heard my husband groan and roll out of bed. He staggered to the bathroom where I heard him vomiting. I was too tired to be concerned and there were some stomach viruses going around. So I rolled over and went back to sleep. My sleep deep last long. It was a good thing we had two bathrooms because we were both violently ill.

My husband dragged himself to the couch and looked positively green. I tried to continue to be the good wife and got him a glass of water. I made him toast and for lunch, I warmed up his left-over pasty. He took one look at it and threw up again.

Two days of gastro-intenstinal distress finally sent us to the ER. You guessed it - I had served us up a big plate of salmonella. Yummy! I've never made a pasty since and my husband - well for the remainder of our lives together 20 more years he didn't eat my cooking. To this day, my children are suspicious of anything I cook and fearfully poke at it until I take the first bite.


For those of you interested making a pasty, I've included a recipe and a bit about where they came from. They are quite tasty if made correctly.

History of Pasty - Cornish Pasty:

Pastie or Pasty (PASS-tee) - individual pies filled with meats and vegetables that are cooked together. They typically weigh about two pounds or more. The identifying feature of the pasty is really the pastry and it’s crimping. When pasties are being made, each member of the family has their initials marked at one corner. This way each person’s favorite tastes can be catered to, identifying each pasty.

Original Pasty
3 c. flour

1 1/2 sticks butter (cold and cut into bits)

1 1/2 tsp. salt

6 tbsp. water



In a large bowl, combine flour, butter and salt. Blend ingredients until well combined and add water, one tablespoon at a time to form a dough. Toss mixture until it forms a ball. Kneed dough lightly against a smooth surface with heel of the hand to distribute fat evenly. Form into a ball, dust with flour, wrap in wax paper and chill for 30 minutes.



filling



1 lb. round steak, coarsely ground

1 lb. boneless pork loin, coarsely ground

5 carrots, chopped

2 lg. onions, chopped

2 potatoes, peeled and chopped

1/2 c. rutabaga, chopped (can substitute turnip)

2 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. pepper



Combine all ingredients in large bowl. Divide the dough into 6 pieces, and roll one of the pieces into a 10-inch round on a lightly floured surface. Put 1 1/2 cups of filling on half of the round. Moisten the edges and fold the unfilled half over the filling to enclose it. Pinch the edges together to seal them and crimp them decoratively with a fork. Transfer pasty to lightly buttered baking sheet and cut several slits in the top. Roll out and fill the remaining dough in the same manner. Bake in a preheated 350 degree oven for 30 minutes. Put 1 tsp. butter through a slit in each pasty and continue baking for 30 minutes more. Remove from oven, cover with a damp tea towel, cool for 15 minutes.

This recipe is from Michigan Tech University and is close to the ones my mother used to make - except she didn't use a recipe. She uses only beef and usually stew meat.