I don't like snakes! That's an understatement. Last summer, I saw one in my backyard, ran in the house, called my son at his dad's house, called my husband at work and insisted that one of them come home and kill it! Right now! It took me three more days to go in the backyard again and then only if I was armed - I had a hoe and a baseball bat. Worse still I saw it slither - that's just a creepy word - slither - under the house.
I have a snake phobia! Sometimes, when I'm driving at night, I have to turn on the interior lights because I'm convinced there is a snake slithering around on the floor and it will crawl up my legs. It's very hard to drive with your feet tucked up under you, but if you floor it and then coast for a ways you can. I figure I'm safe for a few seconds at a time.
Plus there's that whole porta potty thing. I won't use them unless I can peer down into that stinky hole and make sure 1) there are no ledges near the seat where a snake might be lurking and 2) the poop isn't high enough that a snake could leap off it and bite me in the butt.
I am the only person to ever, EV-ER, be bitten in Mr. P's biology class by a garter snake. And it wasn't really a bite I was told more of a taste, a nibble. I'm sorry, that slithery thing twisted around and grabbed hold of the skin between my middle and ring fingers, I screamed and jerked my hand, flinging the snake into the air. I wanted to vomit.
Why this horrible, irrational fear? Because one day, when I was just a little girl of about 6 years of age. I stepped on a snake.
It was summertime and my dad had put up a swingset for me and my sister under the big Maple tree in our backyard. It had a slide, and a glider and two swings. Next to the set was a tire tractor sandbox. We didn't play in the sandbox very often because the cats pooped in it all of the time.
It was a warm day and I rarely wore shoes and this day was no exception. I raced across the driveway to the yard, eager to play on the swings. But before I made it, I felt something wriggling between my toes. I looked down and there was a huge, mammoth, cobra - ok it was a little, common garter snake - sliding between my toes!
I shrieked. Jumped straight up in the air and didn't touch the ground again until I was safely in the house. I kept shrieking like I was dying or at least seriously injured. My mother came racing from the bathroom.
What's wrong?
I was hysterical. My mother grabbed me "Calm down." More shrieking. Finally she shook me and nearly slapped me to get me to breathe. "what's wrong?" By now she was dragging me to the door because apparently I'd encountered something traumatic. The shrieking began again. I was not going back out there again.
Of course, in the end, I finally explained that a snake wriggled between my toes and now it was out to get me. My mom laughed. Later my dad went out and looked around the tree and saw a hole at the base. He assured me that there was no way a snake was going to stick around and run the risk of a giant stepping on it again so it moved away. I believed him, because I never saw another snake in that yard again.
A Renaissance Woman's quest to live a clean, green, intellectually stimulating life. Starting over and doing it right. Plus - the snippets of life that make me so totally unique
LOL!! I have that fear of Spiders! OMG! I HATE them things. If I see a spider atnight, I literally cannot sleep, especially if Marc won't come kill it. I walked in our bathroom one night a feww years ago and there was one of them big, huge as a Tarantula Wolf Spider in the tub. I screamed bloody murder, you would have thought someone was killing me. I finally got brave because I was the only one home and managed to wash it down the drain. I didn't use that bathrooom for a month,convinced that thing was going to come up thru the pipes or thru the toilet and get me. Ewwww I hate them things! Kim Heibel
ReplyDeleteDid I tell you about the time 2 yrs ago? It was a nice spring day and Tyler and I decided to go rock hunting(yes rock hunting, we have rockitus).
ReplyDeleteWe get down to the field and we're loking down for for rocks and Tyler screams like a girl.."Mema! Mema! SNAKE!!!", so I walk over and look, here' sthis little bitty gardner snake, maybe 10" long..so I said..."Tyler..quit freaking out,it's just a baby! He won't hurt you" As I am reachin gdown to pick it up, he's crying "Please mema don't! Snakes will kill you!" I am laughing uncontrollably at this point, "No it won't bud, Gardners don't hurt you!", "But their poisoness", he says."No,no thier not honey, their more scared of you, than you are of them, they eats bugs! YAY! That's good buddy!" (As I am still trying to catch the damn thing). SO, I finally step on it's tail with my foot, so I cn pick it up. I pick it up, and guess what? THE DANG THING BIT ME! IT BIT ME! Right on the finger! I couldn't believe it! LOL I just stared at it in shock, dangling from my finger.I finally flung it off me,then I realized Tyler was screeching like a girl..just screaming and screeching..I said it's alright buddy it didn't hurt!! "But mema you're bleeding!" "You're gonna die! It's poiseness" I look, sure as heck, two little vampire bires on me, and it is indeed bleeding!It took me severl minutes to calm him down, but I finally did. But the kid has a fear of snakes now that in unreal! poor guy! But then..something happened to make it worse.....( Kim H)
Last summer we had an extreme amount of tree frogs. They were cool and they're cool looking, how they change colors, etc. WELL, there was one on one of my flowers by the deck, so I show the kids, of coarse they wanna pick up..no-no I say, you can't touch them! They are to fragile. Ok Mema..so mema sets to taking pics of it(naturally!)When ALL the sudden all you seen was this Gardner snake come out of nowhere and eats the frog! Swallows it whole! OMG! Nature at it's best but the kids were screaming, mema get it out, hurry mema!! Well, as you know, I can't just pull the poor frog out of the snakes throat! They were horrified! I was smiling, I had never seen that happen in real life right out in nature! I took pics of the snake with the frog in him, turned out kinda blurry,because the kids were on me..get him mema!! I'll never forget it! And Tyler says.."NOW you know why I don't like snakes mema! They bite people and eat my frogs!! You said they eat bugs!You should have let mepickit up!!" Yes, yes I did! LOL tried explaining that one for hours! It took me forever to get them not to be scared to go by the deck, heck, just play outside period. So I finally went out and scraped up some toads for them,then all was good..then great Toad hunt began! LOL ( Kim H)
ReplyDeleteI could go for days! The toads made me think of another one! Mema,Beepa,Tyler and sissy are outside walking around,enjoying the day after beepa was done mowing. As we're walking across the back yard,Tyler spys a toad in the grass..reaches down picks it up, drops it.."MEMA!HE'S BEEDING"..sure enough, Grandpa had hit it with the lawnmower. Poor toad, I said will pick it up bud, we'll take him out back,maybe he'll get better, he was having nothing to do with that, so sissy did..she has NO fear! The poor thing was half dead, blood, cartlidge, you get the picture. So as we're walking back, of coarse the kids are calling beepa mean for hitting it, and we're trying to explain, "You just don't see them!" ANYWAY, as we get out back, I finally say, " You know, we really should put this poor thing out of his misery, he's suffering" Marc says , yeah, would be humane thing to do. And Sarcastically says, "just stomp on it", I said "I CAN'T do that!!!"..Sissy says.."It's OK mema I'll do it!" Drops the toad and..well..stomps on it, like 6X! OMG! The look of terror on Tylers face!! " SISSY! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! You KILLED IT!!" I just started busting out laughinng! Sissy screamed "MEMA said too!" And she stomps it again!(technically, mema did NOT say to!) When all the screaming and laughing and fighting were done, someone had to pick up this mowed over..stomped to death toad so he could be buried. Yikes,talk about gross!!BUT, beepa did somehow and we buried it and had a miny toad funeral. Poor Tyler. LOL ( Kim H)
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